(How not to kick the…)bucket list

So, why am I writing this blog? As discussed in my profile, I experience a lot of suicidal ideation.  In other words, I spend a lot of time thinking about killing myself.  But…that is a discussion for another post.  The gist of it is this:  A very good friend of mine, J- suggested that I should write a bucket list.  This was a shameless attempt on her part to a. distract me from suicidal thoughts and b. give me so many things to do, that I’d never get around to killing myself.  Another very dear friend, C- mentioned that it would be useful if I could switch from suicidal ideation to some other, healthier, fixation (I’m paraphrasing, but that was what I took away from the conversation).  So….I’m deliberately trying to become fixated on writing (and completing) a bucket list.  Not particularly novel, I know, but somewhat preferable to detailed suicide planning. Why am I sharing this as a blog? Well, selfishly, I want some distraction, maybe some communication.  Less selfishly, I hope it might give people some ideas for their own bucket list and maybe, later on, I’m going to be able to share some other ideas around suicide prevention, understanding Borderline Personality Disorder, or even improving understanding of mental health.  Anyway, in the meantime, here’s the fun part (by the way, I’ve gone for a mixture of really big, really small and medium things, so that I don’t have to wait a year before I save enough money to actually tick something off!):

  1. Write a blog
  2. Reclaim my spare room
  3. Get a tattoo from a design I have drawn myself
  4. Bake bread from scratch
  5. Go back to work
  6. Host a murder mystery party
  7. Go wild camping
  8. Buy a present for someone for no reason
  9. Visit a natural hot pool
  10. Visit Stonehenge
  11. Make soap
  12. Swim outdoors in London
  13. Read at least one more classic novel
  14. Take myself out for dinner
  15. Attend a show at The Globe
  16. Attend Gay Pride
  17. Ride in a rickshaw
  18. Design my own perfume
  19. Spend 24 hours doing nothing useful
  20. Try off-road driving
  21. Ride a roller coaster
  22. Do an exercise class I’ve never tried before
  23. Drive a supercar
  24. Hold a tarantula
  25. Go skinny dipping
  26. Go to the top of the Arts Tower
  27. Fly in a bi-plane
  28. Fire a gun
  29. Raise money for mental health charities in Sheffield
  30. Pull a pint
  31. Have some weird hippy therapy/beauty treatment that I’ve never tried
  32. Work in a library
  33. Paint (a painting, not the house)
  34. Get a new qualification
  35. Be a life model
  36. Eat something I’ve never eaten before
  37. Attend Olympia
  38. Wing walking
  39. Make a piece of jewellery
  40. Learn to change a wheel
  41. Try carriage driving
  42. Try internet dating
  43. Buy a suspended coffee
  44. Visit San Francisco
  45. Go to a drive-in movie
  46. Attend an immersive theatre event
  47. Go part-time at work
  48. Order room service
  49. Donate to a food bank
  50. Visit a ghost town (or at least an abandoned building)
  51. Get a letter published in a newspaper
  52. Visit a clairvoyant
  53. Improve my running technique
  54. Learn to ride a motorbike
  55. Spend the night in a haunted house
  56. Attend a cookery class
  57. Attend midnight mass
  58. Sleep in a tree house
  59. Do yoga outdoors at sunrise
  60. Punch someone
  61. Do an actual press-up
  62. Throw a pot (on a wheel, not at a boyfriend)
  63. Walk on hot coals
  64. Fire a crossbow
  65. Zombie laser quest
  66. Star gazing (with someone who actually knows what they’re talking about)
  67. Do a skills swap
  68. Be debt-free
  69. Own something tailor-made
  70. Complete 10 different park runs
  71. Abseil down a building
  72. Go trail riding
  73. Attend a knit-and-natter (or stitch-and-bitch, I’m easy…)
  74. Go on a retreat or pilgrimage
  75. Quit caffeine for a week
  76. Get my genome sequenced
  77. Learn to forage
  78. Take a sleeper train
  79. Run a marathon
  80. Write a gratitude list
  81. Light a fire without matches (etc.)
  82. Volunteer for mental health services
  83. Complete DBT
  84. Drive Scotland’s Route 66
  85. Go on a trip by sticking a pin in a map
  86. Run through a fountain
  87. Say “I’m going to have to science the sh*t out of this” in context.
  88. Milk a cow or goat
  89. Meditate every day for a week
  90. Learn to crochet
  91. See the Northern Lights
  92. Sleep in a castle
  93. Watch IMDBs top 5 films of all time
  94. Complete a 1000 piece jigsaw
  95. Slide down a fire pole (a la Bridget Jones)
  96. Restore a piece of furniture
  97. Stage a surprise visit on someone
  98. Solve a Rubik’s cube
  99. Travel abroad alone
  100. Be in a flash mob
  101. Drive a dodgem

So…. there we go.  That’s a my list.  It’s out there now (eek!) So………if any of you good people can help achieve any of these, or would like to join me on any of this jolly escapades, do let me know.

6 thoughts on “(How not to kick the…)bucket list

Add yours

  1. Wow! What an exciting time you have ahead of you. And I really hope it helps serve the greater purpose as well as entertaining your readers.

    Wanted to let you know about an amazing adventure called The Rickshaw Run. It is a wild adventure where you drive your own tuk tuk from A to B via – well, wherever you feel like! You could tick off a fair few bits on your list this way! I’m doing it in Sri Lanka in April next year!


    Whatever you decide, good luck!

    Emily x


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