I've started to realise that a lot of this blog (and a lot of my bucket list) is really a story of my friendships. And what I am about to write here is a mere droplet in the vast lake of my friendship with G. I never thought I would have a friend so good,... Continue Reading →
Rejoicing
Since the start of lockdown, I've been thinking a lot about gratitude. It seems to keep cropping up in various ways in my life (obviously, as a good scientist, I attribute this to the Baader Meinhof effect, rather than a sign from the universe). I could, and probably will one day, spend a blog talking... Continue Reading →
Press ups and procrastination
If there was an Olympic category for procrastination, I would..... think about definitely finding out about maybe entering ... and then miss the deadline. I've been putting off writing an update on my blog for so long, I've forgotten why I don't write anymore. And the longer I put it off, the harder it seems... Continue Reading →
Free fall
Today feels quite painful. It's not a very catchy first sentence is it? Today isn't hideous or unbearable or torturous. I don't want to die. But it's painful. And that is okay. Part of the normal human experience. A sure sign that I am still alive. I'm becoming quite the connoisseur of emotions, perceiving the... Continue Reading →
#79
Some bucket list items are small and can be knocked off in an afternoon, some are a little bit longer in the making. So it is for #79 - Run a Marathon. Although, technically, the actual running did just take a few hours (no, I'm not going to say how many). I've got to be... Continue Reading →
Bucket lists, bonus items and …… Brazil nuts
It’s been a little while since I last wrote a blog post and I’m feeling a bit out of the rhythm. I thought I would ease myself back in gently by just updating my progress on The Bucket List. The bucket list is, to some extent, why I haven’t posted in a while – like... Continue Reading →
I went to Wales, oh yes I D.I.D.
I do love a good pun. D.I.D, as I have mentioned before, stands for Dissociative Identity Disorder. It’s been a bit of a feature for me over the last couple of weeks. Upon contemplation, I have decided that it sucks. However (always looking for the positives), it is about a billionty times better than clinical... Continue Reading →
And…. I’m back in the room
Gosh, it’s nice not being depressed. It happened in the course of about half an hour the other evening and has been holding strong (barring a few hours this afternoon - a blip, I hope - thank you A~ for listening to me and picking me back up) for 4 days now (everyone touch wood,... Continue Reading →
Art, altruism and food
I’ve been questioning the bucket list idea a bit lately, wondering why I am doing it. Is it a mere distraction from pain? If it is, then maybe that is okay, maybe that is the best I can hope for right now. But I want it to serve another purpose as well - to help... Continue Reading →
Pros and cons – a letter to my future self
Trigger warning: Contains discussion about advantages and disadvantages of suicide Mum “So, what was your homework from DBT this week?” Me (cheerfully) “To write a list of pros and cons of killing myself.” Mum “Oh” So, I guess that probably isn’t a common mother/daughter Wednesday night phone call. But seriously, what does she think we... Continue Reading →